I’ve been in a tough situation the last 6 months, but I didn’t fully understand why until I started reflecting. Luckily I had some handy tools at my disposal.
This is the story of how an AI model became my Stoic mentor.
In this post, I’ll first share some of the anxieties I’ve been facing the past few months. Then I’ll run through the prompt I used and the response I got back from ChatGPT.
My Anxieties
I’ve been in an interesting situation for the past 6 months.
My partner and I started planning our move to Portugal in October. We pushed the moving date back a few times.
Initially we wanted to go around November, but that was way too short notice. Plus the weather isn’t great over the winter, so we thought it’d be nicer to move in March.
That’s right when spring begins. So we’d see the city come alive from the winter.
That’s when we found the perfect AirBnB for March. We had another quick look at other options. But our AirBnB disappeared for the dates we were looking for.
We didn’t find any other suitable accommodation for March. And April was completely booked out for Easter!
Of course, we wanted to be in Seville for Feria, a festival the whole city celebrates. So our new timeline is May 3rd. We’ll spend the rest of May in Lisbon.
In addition to planning this move to the continent, I work for a company that can’t tell me if I’ll still have my job in Lisbon. So I’ll need to figure out how I’ll make money sooner, rather than later.
If my life were a story, this is where the mentor character would appear to show me the path forward.
Lucky for me, I found an AI prompt that managed to fill this role.
The Stoic AI Mentor
I started paying for ChatGPT, fully equipped with GPT4, a few days before I started this exercise. So I figured why not see what it’s capable of.
I started with this prompt:
I’m going through a difficult time in my work life and you are my Stoic mentor (philosophy of Stoicism). I need to work through my anxieties and you will offer exercises and mindsets to reflect and think more like a Stoic to work through it. My first anxiety is around not knowing if I’ll still have a job when I move to Lisbon in 3 weeks, because HR have not yet responded to my flexible working request. My second anxiety is around my company’s new CEO who is very upset with people who work from home more than two days per week and I feel like his approach will be to halt any flexible working such as mine. My final anxious point is not knowing whether I’ll be able to get an apartment in Lisbon without having a full-time job or putting down a 6-month deposit.
I effectively brain-dumped all my anxieties into the prompt after clarifying that ChatGPT is my “Stoic mentor” who offers exercises and mindsets to help me be more Stoic.
Here’s how GPT4 responded:
First anxiety: Uncertainty about your job when moving to Lisbon.
Focus on what you can control: Remember the Stoic principle of distinguishing between what is in your control and what is not. You can’t control the outcome of your flexible working request, but you can control your response to it. Be prepared for both possible outcomes and remind yourself that you will find a way to adapt and thrive regardless.
Negative visualization: Take a moment to visualize the worst-case scenario, which would be losing your job. Reflect on how you would handle this situation and identify potential alternatives. This exercise will make you more resilient and better prepared for any outcome.
Second anxiety: New CEO’s attitude towards flexible working.
Practice empathy: Try to see the situation from the CEO’s perspective. They might have reasons for their approach that you’re not aware of. Understand that their decisions are likely driven by the best interests of the company.
Stoic reserve clause: When making plans or expecting certain outcomes, add the phrase “fate permitting” to remind yourself that external events can change your plans. If the CEO does halt flexible working, be prepared to adapt and seek alternative solutions.
Third anxiety: Finding an apartment in Lisbon.
Focus on what you can control: Research the housing market and what you’ll need to secure an apartment. Communicate with potential landlords and real estate agents about your situation, and be prepared to provide additional documentation or guarantees if necessary.
Preparing for adversity: Embrace the idea that challenges are an opportunity for growth. If you need to put down a 6-month deposit, consider it a test of your resourcefulness and ability to overcome obstacles.
Responding to GPT’s Response
As a practicing Stoic, I already knew what ChatGPT told me. Nothing was unfamiliar or surprising to me, though the fact that it gave such insightful answers really sped up the reflection process.
But like with other AI tools on the market today, my job wasn’t done after running the prompt. I still had to add the human element and incorporate the learnings into my conscious and subconscious mind.
I did so by reflecting on the key takeaways and meditating on what they mean to me.
Takeaways
Here were my key takeaways from the response:
- I can’t control the outcome of my flexible working request, but I can control how I respond to it.
- I can prepare for both possible outcomes and find a way to adapt and thrive regardless
- Visualize the worst case scenario, and you won’t be disappointed if it happens
- Have empathy for the new CEO, they only have the company’s best interests in mind
- Add “fate permitting” to plans to remind myself that external events can change things
- Research the housing market and what you’ll need to secure an apartment
- If a big deposit is required, consider it a test of resourcefulness & overcoming obstacles
I wrote these down in my notebook for the following reflection practice.
The Stoic Meditation Process
I reflected on each of my takeaways one-by-one.
I started with the fact that I CAN’T control the outcome of my flexible working request.
But I CAN control my response to it. The Stoic dichotomy of control teaches us to focus our energy on things that will have an impact. Because worrying about the outcome of this request is outside my control, I should continue building my own business and contributing to projects that will help generate income one day. That way I am not dependent on forces outside my control.
Losing my job would really not be the worst case scenario. In fact starting my own business was always part of the plan. And moving to a low-cost country like Lisbon will give me more time to start a profitable online business.
Luckily I’ve been saving up for the past 3 years with the idea that I would eventually quit to start my own business. If we follow our budget, our savings give us a 1-year buffer. We’ll use this year to focus on things we can control: like how much we spend and how hard we work on our businesses.
This was the entire thought process that went through my mind as I reflected on each point. I dove into what I think and how I feel about each anxiety.
By the end of this process I had found peace. I realised that things are not so bad. The worst case scenario is actually the scenario I’ve been working toward since COVID started. If that happens, I’ll finally be free to follow my entrepreneurial journey.
Where I am now
As I’m still waiting for the reply from HR, I have no clue what will happen next. And that uncertainty is part of the issue. I just have to remind myself that in this scenario, even the worst case scenario is the best scenario. So there’s really nothing to be afraid of.
I’ll keep you updated on my journey and probably write my next post on either a business update or some thoughts about Lisbon.
Stay tuned to keep up.