I’ve had my fair share of cravings in life, and I know exactly how easily bad habits can develop. It’s easy to get stuck in a routine that we know isn’t rational, but somehow it can seem impossible to break these habits.
I’ve found techniques like meditation to help me distance myself from my cravings. However, even without mindfulness training, we can use cognitive distance techniques to separate our desires from our bad habits with a few simple steps.
To make this work, we need to first understand what cravings really are and how they form our habits. Then, we can jump into simple techniques to change our bad habits.
This post is all about managing our cravings and breaking bad habits.
What Are Cravings?
Cravings are a sense that something is missing. Your desire to take action kicks in when you think that you would be better off in a different state.
Cravings are surface-level desires with deep underlying motives
Some of our motives include:
- Conserve energy
- Obtain food and water
- Find love and reproduce
- Connect and bond with others
- Win social acceptance and approval
- Reduce uncertainty
- Achieve status and prestige
These underlying motives are universal and have existed since the beginning of human history. Our cravings are simply modern solutions to ancient desires.
Modern solutions to ancient desires
If you break down any of your bad habits today, they can probably be categorised into one of the ancient motives above.
For example, we’re not addicted to television as much as we are the idea of conserving energy. We prefer “going out to drink” to drinking at home, because of the opportunity to connect and bond with others. A night out is also more likely that we’ll find love and reproduce.
We don’t really want that new Ferrari as much as we desire to win social status and prestige. We yearn to “keep up with the Joneses” as a path to social acceptance and approval.
Companies profit from catering to one or more of these motives. But paying these companies will only treat our symptoms, not the underlying cause.
The first step to breaking bad habits is to understand where our cravings come from.
How do cravings form our habits?
Habits are all about associations. We start with a cue that results in a prediction.
Everytime we perceive a cue, our brains run a simulation about what to do next. The simulation feeds off past experiences to determine the appropriate response.
Habits can be broken down into a four-step process:
Cue > Craving > Response > Reward
Most of our habits come down to the prediction we make about it. That’s why the way we interpret our actions can have a huge impact on how we develop our habits.
Based on our past experiences we can end up developing cravings that result in bad habits. We need to rewire our minds to associate the healthiest habit (for mind, body and spirit) to our cravings’ underlying motives.
Just because one person may think of smoking a cigarette when they get stressed at work, does not mean that is the best way to deal with stress. Another person in the same situation may have learned to associate running with easing anxiety. If we compare these two people, running is clearly a healthier alternative to smoking.
Every habit starts with a cue and a prediction before any action occurs.
How can we change bad habits?
Ultimately to get rid of bad habits, we must change our attitude toward our cravings.
By understanding that cravings are modern interpretations of a set number of deeper motives, we can begin to substitute our current cravings and bad habits with better alternatives.
All we need to do change our bad habits for better habits is to make the better habits more attractive.
Perhaps, easier said than done – especially when we’re dealing with habits that take more effort and go against our past experiences.
Making hard habits more attractive
When a habit successfully addresses a motive, you develop a craving to do it again. Over time, we associate habits that seem attractive with positive feelings.
We can use this simple insight to our advantage by considering and slightly changing our mindset. The change can be as small as a single word choice.
For example, we often tell ourselves that we have to wake up early and we have to start another project for work. We have to cook dinner for the family and we occasionally have to travel for work.
When we talk to ourselves about our responsibilities like above, we obviously don’t want to put in the effort. How would our attitude change if we replaced “have to” with “get to”?
We get to wake up early and we get to start another project at work. We get to cook dinner for the family and we occasionally get to travel for work.
Now the dreadful chores suddenly seem more like an opportunity that we’re lucky to be a part of. Habits become much easier when we look forward to them.
Sometimes, we can trick ourselves into looking forward to good habits with simple language changes. Other times, we may need to reframe the more difficult habits entirely.
Reframing difficult habits
We can reframe good habits quickly and simply by highlighting their benefits. By focusing on what we have to win, we reprogram our minds to see the habit for the reasons it really is attractive.
Reframing examples can be used for many things such as exercise, finance and meditation.
Exercise
I’ve definitely fallen into the trap of associating exercise with effort. It’s easy to think that you’d rather scroll through your phone and watch some television. The attitude is centred around the effort: “I need to go running in the morning.”
However, you can reframe exercise by focusing on the benefits: “It’s time to improve my endurance and see how fast I can get.”
Finance
We often associate saving money with sacrifice. However, you can associate it with freedom by realising that living below your current means increases your future means.
The money you save this month increases your opportunities for next month. The money you save this year will improve your life for the next year and possibly the foreseeable future.
Meditation
Meditation can be difficult, especially when we start off. It’s easy to get distracted and feel that you’re not using your meditation time effectively. However, that’s the whole point of meditation. Each interruption is an opportunity to return to your breath and improve our mindfulness.
Learn more about meditation in our Beginner’s Guide to Meditation.
Ultimately, we can develop optimal routines to maintain a healthy lifestyle. We owe it to ourselves to live our best lives.
Cravings & Bad Habits in a Nutshell
We all deal with cravings, usually on a daily basis. While it can be ok to succumb to the pleasures of these desires occasionally, we need to understand the role cravings play in our lives. After all, they are at the root of all of our bad habits.
When we experience cravings, we use modern solutions to fill the gap experienced from ancient human motives. Normally this comes down to our past experiences and the associations we’ve created in the past.
To break bad habits, we first need to understand where our cravings are coming from. Once we’ve identified the core motive behind the craving, we can choose a more appropriate response. We can make this response a regular habit by reframing our mindsets and focusing on the benefits.
Learn more about building Atomic Habits and improve your habits with Mind & Practice today.