The uncultivated mind is a judgment machine. It churns out judgments about our experiences, other people and ourselves — often to the detriment of ourselves and the people around us.
Judgement is one of the primary signs of the anxious Ego. By bringing awareness to judgement we begin to expose the unconscious negative patterns that constrain us, and which prevent us from expressing, and “embodying” our unfettered souls.
— GERTRUD KEAZOR
Before we dive into the benefits and process of being non-judgmental, we must first understand the concept of judgment more generally.
What are judgments?
At their core, judgments come down to three groupings: the good, the bad and the neutral. Our mind groups our perception of the world into these three categories so we can chase the positive, flee from the negative and ignore the positive.
In other words, judgments are illusions. They’re shorthands we’ve developed of the world to process our environment quickly and define our needs simply. Judgments are great when you’re trying to survive in the wild, but they can cause unnecessary stress and side effects in modern settings.
Judgments vs Being Judgmental
While judgments can be bad for mindfulness, there is a clear distinction between making judgments and being judgmental. We can live mindful lives and still have preferences (judgments) that are logical and make sense.
On the other hand, being judgmental involves jumping to conclusions, often subconsciously. In mindfulness terms, judgmentalism means the mind is unbalanced and jumping to react to something. It’s a sort of defense mechanism.
Mindfulness aims to cultivate a non-judgmental mind so we can view the world and live our lives without the illusions that bring unnecessary suffering.
Benefits of Non-judgment
Since the Buddha, non-judgment has been considered a core tenet of mindfulness.
Non-judgment has some very simple benefits:
- Experience life fully with objectivity
- Exit the hedonic cycle of seeking pleasure and avoiding pain
- Experience inner peace and harmony with your environment
It’s easier to get trapped on the hamster wheel of emotion that makes us feel like we’re never enough when our minds are judgmental. This feeling comes from a strong judgment of ourselves.
By letting go of this judgment, you open yourself up to experiencing all the beauty and excellence in your life. Rather than focusing on what may be missing, we can focus on the beauty inherent in our lives.
Buddhist Non-judgment
The Buddha said that to be free, we must first perceive the illusory nature of the world around us.
“Attachment is the source of all suffering.”
The Buddha
Liberated judgment comes from the practice of “upekkha”, a Pali word for “equanimity” or “non-attachment”. In simple terms, upekkha means remaining stable even when the world around us is constantly changing.
Stoic Non-judgment
Buddhism is not the only philosophy to preach equanimity, as this was a core tenet of the Stoic philosophy.
Ancient wisdom tells us that the path to inner peace is non-judgment. Everyone makes mistakes and getting hung up on evaluating each mistake is a spiral leading to anxiety and self-condemnation. In this sense, Stoicism can help us gain mental clarity.
There are many things in life that we must simply experience. Then, we move on.
How to Practice Non-judgment
Outside of meditation, the best way to practice non-judgment is in everyday life. By becoming mindful of our judgments, we take the first step settling our judgments and living realistic, fully-experienced lives.
We can begin to practice non-judgment in 3 steps.
1. Notice Your Judgments
The first step is to notice when judgments arise.
For me, a clear indicator of judgment are strong emotions, where I often find myself thinking down rabbit holes. Strong emotions often take the form of something worrying such as anxiety over something more hedonistic such as anticipating pleasure.
When anxiety creeps up, it is the result of my mind worrying about the negative consequences of something that I did, didn’t do or can’t do. Nearly all worries are completely unfounded, especially when they cause more thoughts and emotions than action.
In the other case of anticipating pleasure, I’m counterintuitively setting myself up for disappointment with expectations that often go unmet. Fixating my thoughts on these judgments are not helpful to me.
Experiences are meant to be enjoyed in the moment, not in the past or future. Every moment is a gift, and we need to start living that way. To quote one of the most influential philosophers of our time:
“Yesterday is history,
tomorrow is a mystery,
and today is a gift…
that’s why they call it the present”
― Master Oogway, Kung Fu Panda
Whether the feeling is more anxious or hedonistic in nature, taking a step back to evaluate the thought helps me appreciate life more objectively.
We can even use non-judgment to approach death like the Stoics. Many people fear death because it symbolises the end of life. But death is just one moment. Life itself contains much more suffering than this one moment. And we should not fear death, because it is inevitable. We will enjoy life more by simply accepting our fate.
Noticing either anxiety or hedonistic feelings can remind us to view things more objectively.
2. View Your Experience Objectively
Try to view your experience objectively. Observe what is actually happening, and avoid any automatic thought patterns without jumping straight to initial judgments. This state of objectivity is called cognitive distance.
When we review something objectively, we approach it with an open mind. We don’t let our emotions get in the way. Taking a step back helps us be less emotional and think more logically.
Have you ever walked down the street when a stranger gave you a weird look? You can fall into the rabbit hole of thinking that person maybe had it out for you and wants you to feel pain. In this way, you continue to obsess over the event.
On the other hand, you don’t know that person, you don’t have all the facts and the stranger probably wasn’t thinking about you at all. They were probably just thinking deeply and living their own life. We need to leverage katalepsis to ensure our impressions of the world are not unnecessarily negative.
Viewing a situation objectively involves reacting to an event (such as a stranger giving you a look) without spiralling. In the example above, it would be more objective to say this person had a face, for this is something we can see without projecting our insecurities onto other people’s motives.
In any case, this experience says more about the other person than it does about you. Embrace things outside your control with the Stoic concept of amor fati. And learn to accept others with the value of kindness.
3. Self-monitor Vigilantly
Once we are able to notice our judgmentalism and view situations objectively, we must ensure we put it into practice. Self-monitoring against judgmentalism is something we must do vigilantly, lest we fall back into old patterns.
This is where mindfulness comes in. By being aware of the moment, we become better-equipped to live our lives. We can notice when unhealthy thought and emotional patterns arise and generally learn to think more objectively.
If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher.
— PEMA CHODRON
Of the three steps, self-monitoring is the most important. Once we forget this step, we tend to revert to old habits. Changing our habits can be difficult, though in the case of developing a non-judgment practice, it is definitely worth it.
Live a Non-judgmental Life
We all want to be happy, but evolution doesn’t exactly make it easy.
Our minds are primarily programmed to help us survive our natural environment by making lightning quick decisions, based on our judgments.
Non-judgment, on the other hand, helps us find inner peace and reduce the friction of false impressions. By avoiding unnecessary judgments, we begin to reap the benefits of a more mindful life.
Learn to develop a daily mindfulness practice with our beginner’s guide to meditation.