Some things are within our power, while others are not. Within our power are opinion, motivation, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever is of our own doing; not within our power are our body, our property, reputation, office, and, in a word, whatever is not of our own doing.
Epictetus
A Stoic History of Control
Zeno of Citium was a wealthy merchant trader in the 3rd century BCE. One day, he lost nearly all his possessions when his ship wrecked just off the coast of Athens. Unsure of what to do and with nothing left to trade, Zeno walked into a bookshop and began reading.
He came across Xenophon’s Memorabilia, which featured an account of Socrates’s teachings. When Zeno asked the bookshop owner where to find such an insightful person, the owner pointed out Crates of Thebes. He was just walking by at that moment.
Zeno introduced himself and learned from the Cynic for several years before studying under several other philosophers. He learned various schools of philosophy, such as the Megarians and Platonists.
Eventually, Zeno began teaching in the squares of Athens the philosophy we today call Stoicism. Zeno was the original Stoic philosopher.
In a sense the founding of Stoicism is a great example of the Stoic dichotomy of control. Zeno was not upset, despite having lost most of his fortune. Rather than get upset about something outside his sphere of control, he decided to visit a bookshop. Ultimately, he founded one of the most practical philosophies because of his misfortune.
In this post we’ll discuss the Stoic dichotomy of control, one of the core frameworks of Stoicism. For a primer on Stoicism, read more about Stoicism in a Nutshell and Modern Stoicism.
The Dichotomy of Control
The Stoic dichotomy of control is an effective framework for clearing the mind to focus on valuable thoughts and actions. The method aims to to clear unhealthy thinking patterns from our minds and focus on thoughts under our control.
What’s under our control?
The Stoics said that only two kinds of things can ever be in our control: voluntary actions and judgments. We can decide what events mean to us (judgment) and how we react to them (actions), but we can never guarantee a desired outcome.
The Stoic sphere of control is then limited to our judgments and actions. We can exemplify our values by living with virtue and honing our character.
We can wake up early every day, build better habits and get things done by putting in the work. By working on limiting our cravings and bad habits while building systems to reach our goals, we aim to achieve our goals.
By disconnecting from the distraction of uncertain outcomes and expectations, we can focus our attention on actions and perspective. We can accomplish so much more just by focusing on the things within our control.
As Babylon can teach us, we can learn and apply ancient financial lessons. But the secrets of gold come down to hard work, ingenuity and good luck. And when it comes to good luck, we can set ourselves up to become lucky.
It also helps to remember that there’s always a silver lining, life should be challenging sometimes.
Create Your Own Dichotomy of Control
Start with a Mental Inventory
Start your dichotomy of control by first reviewing what’s on your mind, particularly thoughts that cause debilitating emotions such as excessive worry, anger, fear and grief.
An emotion can be debilitating when it takes up a significant chunk of your mental space, preventing you from thinking clearly.
Overwhelming thoughts and emotions might include:
- Endless loops of what we need to do to complete a big project at work
- Destructive loops that cause low self-esteem and crippling social anxiety
- Anger at the government’s approach to a pandemic
It may help to use a notebook to take a “mental inventory” of your debilitating thoughts and emotions that occur frequently.
Whenever you notice a new overwhelming mental pattern, add it to your notes.
Determine Next Steps
Next, you must ask yourself what action you can take to settle this emotion. Take note of any proactive steps you can follow to resolve this feeling. We can settle many worries by simply knowing the next step. It becomes less debilitating having a rudimentary plan. This is the idea behind the Stoic To Do list.
But what about thoughts that have no next actions? We have no next steps for some worries such as unexpected events, genetic disorders, making a mistake during a presentation, etc.
The list also includes global issues such as poverty, deforestation and climate change. Unless you’re in the industry or plan to devote yourself to the cause, most of these things are outside our control. In these cases, it’s worth considering the trichotomy of control.
The Trichotomy of Control
Modern Stoicism has updated the ancient framework to separate outcomes we have no control over from the outcomes we have limited control over.
The idea is still the same with the trichotomy of control. We accept things out of our control and let them go, so we can aim to have the greatest impact in our actions.
The dichotomy/trichotomy of control becomes truly effective when your thoughts have no reasonable next steps. We can sum up the tenet with the following flowchart.
Overwhelming Thoughts & Emotions
Unless there’s a clear next step, debilitating thoughts and emotions are unproductive and cause more pain than they’re worth. At this point, you should give yourself permission to clear thoughts that offer little value from your mind.
This is the general idea of the 12-Step Recovery programme in Alcoholics Anonymous. As we can see in its contents, the Serenity Prayer aligns directly with the dichotomy of control and Stoic virtue.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
Distance yourself from thoughts & emotions
It’s important to “exit the loop” and reflect on our thoughts and emotions with equanimity. Stoics urged us to manage impressions with katalepsis.
Calm and composed, we should reflect on what we can do about a situation. If something is outside our control, we must learn to embrace our fate: Amor Fati.
Humans are rational creatures – or, at least we like to think we are! Worrisome thoughts without actionable next steps are inevitably useless, if not completely counterproductive.
We should use our minds wisely and not get stuck in unproductive mental loops. This is a simple concept that is slightly harder to put into practice.
Journaling, meditation and Stoic reflection are all great ways to distance ourselves from thoughts and emotions. What we need here is cognitive distance.
Events can be neither good nor bad
The Stoics taught that external events can be neither good nor bad. Only our individual character and reactions to external events can be judged good or bad.
Rainy Days are not Inherently Bad
Feelings of anger, sadness, anxiety and grief can all be overwhelming. Especially when you begin playing situations in your head, over which you have no control. There’s no end to this type of thinking, because there are so many situations that can lead to some sort of risk.
Focusing on one of an infinite possible futures is more challenging and less valuable than our actions and judgments.
You might not be able to stop the rain during your holiday, but you should be able to stop it from ruining your day. Firstly you’ll be happier if you don’t jump straight to thoughts such as
“Why does this always happen to me? Why can’t I just enjoy my day off with nice weather?”.
Instead, you might exhibit extraordinary character to your friends and family by demonstrating a cool demeanour, either through a joke or light-hearted remark, “At least I didn’t get sunburned again”.
Not only will this equanimity help you feel at peace with your environment. It will even spread to those around you in the form of calmness and kindness. The rain may impact your friends less, simply because you presented the silver lining when everyone else’s reaction was to complain.
Your possessions are not in your control
If you regard that…which is not your own as being your own, you’ll have cause to lament, you’ll have a troubled mind, and you’ll find fault with both gods and human beings…
Epictetus
The quote above refers to our physical possessions, like our house and bank accounts. But it applies equally to our relationships, our health and inevitably our death. Negative visualisation techniques help us internalise the fact that anything can disappear.
We tend to experience changes over the course of each year. And not always for the better.
That’s why we must remember to cherish everything that is in your possession. Accept that everything may disappear one day. That state of flux is how the universe works.
Nothing stays the same forever. Everything changes.
Playing the game well
While we discussed Stoic virtue in another post, it’s also worth considering our lives as a game to which we will never fully learn all the rules.
Your desires are inflamed, your aversions are low, your purposes are inconsistent, your motives are out of harmony with nature, your opinions are ill-considered and mistaken.
Epictetus
Things are what they are, regardless of our opinions of these events.
Therefore our judgments are useless, and we should focus our energy on “playing the game well” by focusing on what we can control.
Taking Control with Mindfulness
The dichotomy of control is a freeing framework, incredibly useful for calming the mind, easing anxiety and ultimately having our greatest impact.
The method starts by identifying our subconscious mental patterns through Stoic mindfulness. The goal is to stop our minds before even entering into a destructive loop. By sheer will and discipline, we can improve the quality of our lives.
Whenever faced with a ‘Rainy Day’ thought, just ask yourself “What’s my end goal?” If you’re preparing and planning for something you’ll do in the future, brilliant! Think away! It might even help to draft out your plan on paper.
Otherwise, you might be wasting time and energy feeling bad about something you won’t do anything about anyway.
Like Zeno of Citium after his shipwreck, make the best of any situation by distancing yourself from overwhelming thoughts.
Develop a mindfulness meditation habit to help your thoughts as they arise. Allow your mind to stand strong. Don’t get swept along with the tide of reactivity.
We can learn to distance ourselves from our thoughts by focusing on what we can control and accepting things we cannot.
The method hinges on Mind & Practice.